Equine Kingdom Riding Academy is no longer in operation.
These more than 2,000 unique pages are provided for historical and educational reference.
Equine Kingdom - Click to return to the homepage
Lessons  Arcade Anatomy Articles
Training Newsletters Library Breeds
Boarding Photos | Videos Classifieds Links
Wish List Education |Names Photography Quizzes
Advertising Miscellaneous Gifts   Humor U.S. Stables
Fun Facts Comments Stories  Books Tack Shop
History Glossary    
SiteMap Contact


ADVERTISE
HERE

Enjoy the exposure
of thousands of
views a month!!!

 Horse Owner's Veterinary Handbook (Howell Reference Books)

How to Think Like A Horse: The Essential Handbook for Understanding Why Horses Do What They Do

Horsekeeping on a Small Acreage: Designing and Managing Your Equine Facilities

 

Bad Horse Training

  • I will not leave when my rider falls off.
  • I will not canter in place and hop up and down when other horses s go in front of me, especially when jumping.
  • I will try to actually jump the jumps, instead of walking right through them and destroying them
  • Mommie on board-- sliding stops and spins forbidden! Fragile cargo--keep upright!
  • I will not totally ignore my human when he is asking me to trot on the lunge.
  • I will not turn and make faces at my human when he asks me to trot.
  • I will not totally ignore my human when he asks me to walk on the lunge when I've been trotting.
  • I will not totally ignore my human when he asks me to trot on the lunge when I've been cantering.
  • I will not totally ignore the noise of the lunge whip and do my own thing on the lunge.
  • I will listen to my human on the lunge rather than see what's interesting at the other end of the school.
  • When being ridden bareback, I won't try to see how high I can get my bucks.
  • I will learn to judge my stopping distances, so I don't cover everyone in mud.
  • I will not roll in streams or lie down and take a nap when humans are on my back.
  • I will not buck instead when asked to canter.
  • I will not drop my shoulder and spin out when bucking doesn't work.
  • I will not leap over large non-existent obstacles when the whim strikes.
  • I will walk a true straight line on the reverse walk and not take the judge out.
  • I will not try to bolt and run with another horse while under saddle.
  • I will try to listen when the human is on my back.
  • I will not roll with my saddle on.
  • I will not toss my head and shake it when asked to trot.
  • I will not fall on my forehand and act like a freight train despite the half-halting, leg thumping rider on top of me
  • I am able to go 20 minutes by myself when Mom rides me, I can learn to make it a full hour without crying. I am a big, strong, smart horsey and Mom takes good care of me.
  • I will no longer pretend that I hear a monster in the woods when my Mom lunges me, faking a runaway and then looking for a sugar cube when my Mom says Whoa and I stop like a good girl.
  • I will let Heather pony other horses off of me, even though I get sick of them after a while and feel like kicking them.
  • I will not to buck when Heather makes me canter.
  • I will remember that when Heather pulls back on the reins and says "whoa," I can stop.
  • I WILL pay attention to Mom when she's ground driving me rather than worrying about where Lady is.
  • I will not jump a fence without my human friend(especially when there is a huge mud puddle one the other side).
  • I do understand that I have four feet, not just two or three, I can learn to pick up all four of them while my human is riding me I can, I can, I can ....
  • When SHE tells me to turn around and go up the fenceline we just came down, I will *not* act like I'm drunk and can't walk a straight line.
  • I will *not* walk faster on the way home than I did on the way out.
  • I Will Stand Still When I Am Told To! ! ! !
  • I will not buck anyone off unless they yell at me!
  • I will not put both hind legs over a cliff causing us to almost fall down it.
  • I will not sidepass across the road infront of a car and then rear up infront of it scaring the hell out of both mummy and the car driver.
  • I will not buck just after mummy has just got on bareback causing her to fall off onto gravel and rocks and giving her a terrible scar on her arm.
  • I will not canter on the spot on the way back from a trail.

Return to main Humor page

From http://www.jerseyguy.com/badhorse.html