- I promise not to swish my tail while my human is cleaning my back feet. I also promise not
to choose that particular time to fulfill my basic needs.
- I will not chew on my human's hair while she is grooming my stall mate on the cross ties
beside my stall.
- I will not attempt to bow when my left front hoof is being picked. I will accept the fact
that I will not receive a treat for bowing under these circumstances.
- "I promise not to kick frozen urine/mud into my human friend's eyes"
- "I will not stand as close to the round pen as I can get and pathetically hang my head and
droop my ears while you exercise the others"
- I will not bite my human.
- I will not pin my ears completely flat when I want my dinner and my human is taking her sweet
time dishing it out.
- I will not try to see if I can drop-kick my human the way big sis drop-kicked me.
- I will not steal mommy's carrots out of my human's back pocket.
- I will not bite my shoer's butt just because it's there.
- I will not wipe my snotty nose on mom's shirt, pants, or any other piece of clothing or body.
- I will not take a drink out of the bin and try to nuzzle mom in her hair right after.
- I will not sneeze on dad when he's wearing a nice white shirt.
- I will not untie Mom's boot laces and I will not play in puddles.
- I will not wipe green slime down the back of Jo's clean white shirt
- I promise to quit kicking the white car, even though secretly Mommy encourages it.
- I promise to be a good boy during my workouts so that Mommy will have more time to study,
even though I know that those books will hurt her cuz she won't let me chew on them at all.
- I will let myself get caught in the field, I will not make mommy fall down on the ice trying
to catch me
- I will not blow my nose on my Mom.
- I will not try to mooch goodies off of every human within a one-mile radius.
- I will not use my head to fling my stall door open, bashing my Mom in the butt with it as
she's leaning down to get a brush out of her grooming box.
- I will not "drop down" while Mom is taking PICTURES of me!!!!
- When being walked round the stable's land, I won't walk up to a jump with a ditch then decide
to jump it with human in tow. (Wheeeeeeeeee Arggghhhhhhh!)
- When having my feet picked out, I won't pick up the opposite one to which my human wants.
- When having my back feet picked out, I won't rest the weight of my leg on my humans back.
(Arrgh! Gerrof Gerrof)
- When having my back feet picked out, I won't hop to the side using my human to hold up the
whole weight of my back end.
- I will not stamp my hind feet like a little missy when my human pulls mud off ticklish bits.
- I will not make horrible faces at my human when he doesn't pay me the attention I deserve
100% of the time.
- I will not push my human into the water trough while she is bending over it scrubbing it
out.
- The next time my human squishes (not swats, heavens no) a fly on my body, I will not act
as though she is trying to kill me and bolt away and break my reins (this has happened TWICE)
- I will not take a bite out of my humans if they dare to ignore me.
- I will not put my head on the ground when my human is reaching for my poll.
- I will not get jealous when my person is riding, grooming or playing with any other animal
or person.
- I will learn to stand up like the big 16.2 hand boy that I am, ALL BY MYSELF, when Mike does
my feet. Just say no to tranquilizers!
- I will not get stressed out when Mom tries to ride me again. Next time, I will be ready!!
- I will not give Mom a big kiss after filling my mouth with water.
- I will not shake my head every time mom starts clipping my bridlepath, even though it sounds
like flies buzzing around my ears.
- Lady & Kali: We will not pretend we can't hold our back feet up for the farrier when mom
knows that we can since she practices that with us a lot.
- I promise not to wait until Mom needs to catch me for the farrier to show her how much energy
I have and how good I feel today.
- I promise not to chase my Mom when she's in the paddock just to see her run.
- I promise faithfully not to use my rider as a rubbing post when he/she has just dismounted,
I understand it CAN be really annoying and distracting.
- I Will NOT ignore HER when she tells me to pay attention to HER.
- I will not turn my butt to Mom when she tries to catch me and put me back in my pasture even
if she is wearing a nightgown and flip-flops and looks ridiculous.
- I promise that when She is putting hoof oil on my feet that I *will* keep them on the ground
and not knee her in the face thereby damaging her expensive eyeglasses
- I will not kick at flies whilst mummy is cleaning my hooves causing mummy concussion and
sending her to hospital.
- I WILL NOT lay totally flat in my stall with my eyes glazed and my legs straight out and
pretend I can't hear my owner frantically screaming "are you asleep"
- I promise not to moan or whine while sleeping causing everyone in the barn to ask my human
when the vet is coming.
Return to main Humor page
From http://www.jerseyguy.com/badhorse.html
|
