Horse Funnies

The thunder god went for a ride on his favorite filly.
"I'm Thor!" he cried.
The horse answered, "You forgot the thaddle, thilly."

Horse #1: I'm sure glad I'm not a bird.  I could get hurt!
Horse #2: Why is that?
Horse #1: I can't fly.

We lost our horse. It got away while we were on vacation.
Why not put an ad in the newspaper "Lost & Found" column?
Don't be ridiculous.  He can't read!

I went riding today.
Horseback?
Sure. It came back before I did.

I came down with laryngitis last week.
One day, while I was petting a Shetland Pony at the zoo, a friend of mine asked, "How are you today?."
I responded, "I'm feelin a little horse."

If one horse and rider is traveling in one direction down a narrow pass at 20mph, and another horse and rider is coming toward at 25mph, when will they meet?
Sooner than they want to!

Mutt:  Did you hear about the cannibal horse?
Jeff:  Don't be silly, horses don't eat other horses.
Mutt:  This one ate his own fodder.

Did you hear about the horse that got a job in a watch factory?
All he did was stand around making faces.

What's the difference between a horse and a mattababy?
What's a mattababy?
Nothing.  What's the matter with you?

A particular farmer was in search of a horse.
"I've got the horse for you", said the liveryman, "He's five years old, sound as a dollar and goes ten miles without stopping."
"Not for me," he said, "not for me. I live eight miles from town, and with that horse I will have to walk back two miles."

Bobby's horse was playing games on the computer when Bobby's father walked in to the room.
"That horse is amazing!" said Bobby's father.
"Not really," say Bobby.  "He's already lost three games."

Did you try surf-riding in California?
I tried to, but I couldn't get the horse near the water.

If everyone had a horse ... the country would be more 'stabilized'.

Nobody Claimed This Law:
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

"Mother", said a little boy after coming from a walk. "I've seen a man who makes horses."
"Are you sure?" asked his mother.
"Yes," he replied. "He had a horse nearly finished. When I saw him, he was just nailing on his feet."

Marge won't talk to me since I took her horseback riding.
She could be sore about something.

Horse definition of Bach Chorale:- Out behind the barn where you keep the horse.

Horse sense is found usually in people with a stable mind.

My horse is very polite. Whenever we come to a jump he stops and lets me go first!

A camel is a horse designed by a committee of economists.

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From www.equerry.com